Today's been a bit of a strange day.
It started off fine, everything was great, but then I went onto Instagram and saw some extremely sad posts about a family who lost their little boy over the weekend.
My heart is heavy for them. I can't even begin to imagine their pain.
I've been trying my best to keep my cool with L today, especially after seeing these posts.
It's been hitting me that I'm leaving, very soon in fact, and I'm trying my best to stay calm with him, because I know I only have three more weeks until I'm gone for four months.
But it's hard. It's very hard. Especially at the moment when he thinks that he's the boss, and that he's in charge.
And then I hear about things like this and I feel guilty. I feel guilty for getting angry at L over the littlest things, when out there, somewhere in the world, there are people aching for their children.
People who can't have children, people who have lost their children, or will lose their children.
Yes, we're all human, and I know I'm allowed to get mad, but I just feel terrible for it sometimes, because then the thoughts come into my head about what if it was me? What if I was in their shoes?
No, I don't know this family personally, but that's not the point. I can't even begin to comprehend what it must feel like for them to be going through this.
My thoughts have been going back to them all day, and even through the anger, I've been holding my little boy closer and tighter.
I love him, no matter what, and that will never change.
I'm going to make sure he knows it, every single day, even on the days I'm not here with him.
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